And Still
by KRiSTiNEDAHLiNG
Summary: One rash decision was all it took to change everything. The question is if they can handle the change or if it'll leave them struggling to keep their head above water.
1. Not that Girl

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TUNING IN TO THIS NEW STORY THAT I SHOULDN'T BE STARTING BUT I AM. I HOPE THAT YOU LIKE IT. IT IS AN AU BECAUSE I PREFER THEM. SO CHECK THIS OUT AND I HOPE AFTER YOU READ IT YOU'LL LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. THANKS. ALSO I AM STRUGGLING WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THE BETTER MAN. I'VE SORT OF HIT A WALL WITH THAT. STILL I AM DOING MY BEST TO WORK ON IT. PROMISE! - KRISTINE. **

**RATING: PG**

**DISCLAIMER: UH, NO. **

**CHAPTER ONE: NOT THIS GIRL **

- N - & - R -

Her hands shook violently as she walked down the aisle that 23 year old aspiring Broadway stars always dreaded and avoided when making a trip to their local pharmacy. She'd been on this aisle once before for her roommate in college, but never for herself. No, she was a responsible career driven Jewish girl with a fine arts degree from Yale. She wasn't supposed to walk down this aisle until she was in a committed long-term relationship with someone other than her openly gay roommate and a grey and white Himalayan named Babs. This wasn't supposed to happen to good girls like her she thought bitterly as she took in all of the various boxes that claimed that they were the fastest and produced the most accurate results. Standing there by herself she couldn't help but regret her decision to have Kurt just meet her back at their apartment. She should have taken him up on his offer to join her. This wouldn't be so terrifying if he was standing by her side, holding her hand, and making fun of the various commercials associated with the different brands.

"All of the choices make it kind of daunting," a petite redhead remarked pulling Rachel from her thoughts.

Rachel turned towards her and smiled nodding as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn't help but miserably think that she seemed a bit more excited at the prospect of needing to be on this aisle. "Especially when they all make similar claims," she remarked swallowing as she took in all of the options again.

"My sister always uses this one," the woman replied as she reached out and grabbed a white box that claimed to be the most advanced piece of technology you'd ever pee on. "I guess I can overlook the crude slogan if it works, I'm Emma by the way."

"Rachel," she said as she shook the woman's hand. She noticed just as she suspected that there was a brilliant princess cut engagement ring as well as a white gold band on that all important finger. She silently wondered if the woman noticed that her left ring finger was very much naked.

Emma grabbed two more boxes off of the shelf and dropped them in her basket along with the first one. "I want to be as sure of my answer as possible. I tried to get in with my doctor to find out that way but he's booked until next week and I couldn't last that long." She explained shrugging sheepishly.

"I hope you get the answer that you want." Rachel told her sincerely.

"I hope you do too," Emma said as she flashed a kind and grateful smile. She was halfway down the aisle when she stopped and turned back around. "Hey Rachel…" 

"Yes?" She asked as she set the test she'd been looking at back on the shelf before looking at Emma expectantly.

"Were you by chance in Lemon Sky?"

Rachel noticeably brightened making the smile she sported earlier look almost like a frown. Penny in Lemon Sky was the first role she'd actually landed since coming to New York City to pursue her dreams eighteen months. It was so far her only real taste of success on the stage and even then it had been off-Broadway. The run hadn't been as long as she would have liked but still there had been an audience and the reviewers that took the time to even mention her had suggested she had potential. In her opinion that was pretty good. "Yes, yes I was."

"I thought so. You did a great job. You were very convincing. My husband and I spent the whole dinner afterwards commenting on how you stole the show."

"Thank you. That really means a lot." And she meant it. It really did. In fact it meant so much that she almost wanted to cry.

Emma nodded and flashed another kind smile saying, "Good luck with the results," one more time before leaving Rachel to decide between all of the brands. She stood there for another minute before finally deciding to just grab the one that Emma had selected, following her lead and grabbing one more just to be sure. Still all of the bravado and excitement she'd just felt was gone as she remembered the reality of her current situation. If the test ended up proving her suspicion correct then this could easily be the last time anyone recognized her and playing Penny would be as close as she ever got to being on Broadway.

- N - & - R -

"Kurt!" She called the moment that she walked into their small apartment shrugging off her jacket and kicking off her shoes before even making it out of the entryway. Her nerves had somehow become even more frayed during the short walk from the pharmacy where bought the test to their second floor walk-up.

"He's on his way," Blaine said as he emerged from the kitchen carrying a mug of steaming tea. "I told him I would wait with you until he could get here. I hope that's okay. I made tea."

"Of course that's okay." Rachel assured him. In the year that Kurt and Blaine had been dating she'd grown nearly as close to the dark, curly haired boy as she was to his partner which was saying something because she considered Kurt her dearest friend. "Thank you for even being willing to come wait with me," she said as she sat down on the couch and accepted the mug that he'd been holding out to her.

He joined her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulder gently pulling her close to him. "It's going to be okay Rach."

She bit her lip before letting out a ragged breath. She blinked rapidly trying to keep the tears that she'd been on the verge of since she realized she was late at bay. No matter how hard she tried though she couldn't stop them.

Blaine glanced down at her and felt his heart break as he watched the most confident and resilient girl he knew begin to shatter in front of his very own eyes. He started to assure her that Finn would probably be excited about the news when Kurt rushed through the front door juggling a bag of what he guessed was comfort food and his always present sketch pad.

"I'm sorry it took so long," Kurt said as he attempted to catch his breath. Not only had he power walked at full speed from the Subway to their apartment but he'd all but run up the three floors. He dropped the bag on the coffee table before scooping Rachel up in his arms. "How are you holding up?"

"I've been better," she said sniffling as she wiped her cheeks. She could tell by the pitied look on his face that her mascara had run which meant she looked as terrible as she felt. "You ran up the stairs for me." She pointed out trying to relieve the noticeable tension and angst that had filled the room.

"Of course I did," he told her as he squeezed her again. "Have you taken the test yet?"

She shook her head no. "I don't think I can."

"So we're just going to wait until you may or may not start to show to find out? Sounds like a risky plan to me."

She sniffled again sighing loudly as she stood up and grabbed the two boxes out of the discrete white bag.

"Two?" Kurt asked, his perfectly groomed eyebrows were raised in both surprise and amusement.

"Can't be too sure," she explained lamely before starting towards their bathroom.

"Take this just in case," Kurt instructed as he daintily tossed her a bottle of water.

"Thanks," she murmured before disappearing into the bathroom.

- N - & - R -

Twenty minutes after Rachel disappeared into the bathroom Kurt started to get nervous. He knew from the commercials that it was taking her entirely too long. Despite Blaine's request for him to stay seated he instead crossed the room and softly knocked on the bathroom door. "Rachel?" When she didn't say anything he slowly opened the door and frowned the moment he laid eyes on her. "It's going to be okay," he told her as he sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm not supposed to be this girl," she choked out between sobs. She knew that it was going to be positive before she even took the damn tests, but having her suspicion confirmed still rocked her as though she'd just been blindsided by the news. "My career's over."

"Rachel just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you have to be a mother. You have a choice in the matter." Kurt reminded her gently. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her look so devastated. For the last 18 months she'd been rejected countless times and been told she didn't have the right look or even worse wasn't pretty enough. Still every time she'd vowed simply to make that casting director regret his decision. She'd kept her head held high. Seeing her like this, looking so broken, it broke him.

"I couldn't. I just…" she stammered.

He nodded expecting this answer. "Well Finn is going to be happy. You know he's been dying to come up with a reason to convince you to marry him and move to New Jersey which Blaine and I will not let happen."

Rachel took a deep breath as she wiped her eyes. She tried not to think about how puffy, red, and flat out gross she must look. "Actually about that," she started not sure how best to break this news that she was certain would rock Kurt's world more than her unexpected pregnancy had. "The baby isn't his."

"What?" Kurt asked in a voice so shrill it even made him cringe slightly. "I mean if not Finn then who?"

Rachel glanced up at the ceiling. She opened her mouth but couldn't seem to get the words out or rather name out. Finally she just sort of looked at him knowing that if anyone could figure it out by a simple look it would be Kurt.

"No." He said as he took in the look she was giving him.

She smiled sadly and nodded. Her bottom lip started to quiver as she felt herself about to cry again.

"But when?"

"My Dad's anniversary party," she whispered.

"You didn't even mention he was there." 

"I felt stupid and I thought it was going to be no big deal kind of a walk down memory lane."

"I should have known." Thinking back to that weekend he could now remember that she came home quieter and more reserved than she normally did after a weekend with her fathers. Then again she also had looked more at peace so he just chalked it up to her finally getting enough sleep. Still he should have realized that it was heartbreak.

She squeezed his hand, "You couldn't have sweetie and even if you had suspected something happened I wouldn't have been willing to admit to anything."

"Well before we call him and drop this bombshell on him I think I at least deserve to know how the hell this happened."

- N - & - R -

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS CHAPTER. I COULD LEAVE IT HERE AND IT COULD BE AMBIGUOUS AT TO WHO THE FATHER IS BUT LET'S FACE IT IF YOU READ MY STORIES THEN YOU ALREADY CAN GUESS. HAHA. ANYWAY I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING THIS A MULTI-CHAPTER STORY SO IF YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. I'VE ALREADY STARTED ON CHAPTER TWO SO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS WILL GET A LITTLE PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER. THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN. YA'LL ARE THE BEST! - KRISTINE. **


	2. A Walk Down Memory Lane

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: SO IN THIS CHAPTER YOU FIND OUT FOR SURE WHO THE FATHER IS. YOU ALSO KIND OF LEARN HOW IT HAPPENED. I TRIED TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS WITH THIS CHAPTER WHILE ALSO CREATING MORE. HAHA. DON'T YOU THAT? THIS STORY IS DEFINITELY AS AU AS THEY COME. WHILE THERE WILL BE OTHER GLEEKS SHOWING UP AS IT PROGRESSES FOR THE MOST PART THIS IS A REAL BIG DEPARTURE FROM THE SHOW. I HOPE YOU'LL STILL LIKE IT THOUGH. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU READ MY NOTE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER. THANKS IN ADVANCE. - KRISTINE. **

**RATING: PG-13 (THERE IS SOME CHOICE LANGUAGE AND INTERESTING SITUATIONS)**

**DISCLAIMER: UH, NO. **

**CHAPTER TWO: A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE**

- N - & - R -

"I didn't even know he was going to be there," she explained to Kurt and Blaine who were sitting on the edge of the seat, obviously hanging on her every word. Under different circumstances she would have questioned why they weren't this interested when she told them stories about her day.

"What where exactly is the there we are talking about?" Blaine asked not sure how in the world he was already lost when the story had just started.

"Rachel's Dad's anniversary party in Beacon Hill this past August," Kurt told him. Even though his voice was sweet it was obvious that he wasn't in the mood for his boyfriend's interruptions. "Please continue," he told her.

"So I didn't even know he was going to be there. In fact I was upstairs in my old room getting dressed with Hannah, his little sister, and letting her pepper me about Finn when he showed up. She looked just as surprised as I did."

- N - & - R -

"_Noah!" Hannah squealed before launching herself across the room and into her brother's waiting arms. _

_Rachel watched the scene and couldn't help but notice that he didn't take his eyes off of her until he'd pulled back to inspect the dress that Hannah had on. Even then the moment he was done inspecting Hannah and assuring her that he'd missed her too his eyes went right back to Rachel. And when he realized that she couldn't take her eyes off of him he smirked in that irritatingly smoldering way that was entirely his own. _

"_You don't say hello anymore? And here I thought I was your oldest and dearest friend." He joked from his place in the doorway. _

_She smiled. "Hate to break it you to but while the oldest does still apply the dearest title belongs to Kurt." _

"_Well you know one out of two isn't half bad." He joked as he finally crossed the threshold into her room. He paused and glanced around before chuckling softly and sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs that her grandmother Rose had picked out for late night bottle feedings. _

"_What?" _

"_I just always somehow forgot how pink it all is." _

"_Well I am a girl," she retorted. It doesn't escape her that they've somehow quickly fallen into their usual banter despite it being almost a year since the last time they saw each other. "Where's the 'hawk?" _

"_According to my superiors it wasn't exactly military regulation so…" he made a buzzing sound as he imitated shaving it off. He shrugged, "It was about time. My mother was right about it not being an appropriate haircut for an intelligent young man like myself." _

_She snorted. "You're so full of shit. If I recall your favorite line was that it gave the babes something to hold on to you when you did what you did best." _

"_And if I recall you're hands always went to it when you were attempting to come back to Earth after I did what we both know I did best." _

- N - & - R -

"Please tell me Hannah wasn't in the room for this portion of the walk down memory lane overly sexualized Puck and Rachel banter?" Kurt said as he poured himself another glass of wine.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "While I am the first to admit that we aren't always appropriate when talking in front of Hannah we do know how to draw a line."

"So she was out of the room?"

"Yes she left the room to tell her Mom about Noah's sudden arrival." She said in exasperation.

"Just making sure," he said. He was happy to see that being the center of attention had distracted her enough that if he didn't know better he might have thought she was fine.

"Before we get back on track with this story can I just ask how it is I don't know this Puck and/or Noah whichever name you prefer?" Blaine asked as he took a sip of his wine. Despite feeling complete unequipped to understand and digest the sheer magnitude of this story he still was on the edge of his seat wondering what she would tell them next.

"It was before you and I ever met," Kurt replied shortly and then gestured for Rachel to get back to it before Blaine could interrupt again. He loved his boyfriend and his inquisitive nature, but for once he just wanted him to shut up and listen.

- N - & - R -

"_I didn't even know you were coming and apparently neither did Hannah. How last minute was the decision to come?" _

"_It wasn't. I just thought it'd make for a better surprise." _

"_You hate surprises." _

"_Maybe but then again maybe I thought you'd find an excuse not to make it if you knew that we'd bump into each other." He admitted softly using the tone that people who didn't know him doubted he was capable of. "You big time actresses are known to spin a lie in the name of avoidance." _

"_One part in an off-Broadway play does not a big time actress make." _

"_Hannah told me that you were amazing and they were stupid for not making your role bigger because you were obviously the best thing the play had going for it." He said in a perfect imitation of his little sister's always impossibly upbeat tone._

_She smiled and laughed softly. "This is the same girl who once gave a report on Blair Waldorf all because she's her fashion icon." _

_He chuckled adding, "She's also a great businesswoman. Don't forget that part." _

"_How could I forget?" It had been Hannah's go to response whenever they teased her about choosing someone so trivial for a report. That and how she'd made the best grade in the class._

"_It might sound hard to believe but I actually miss her mindless chatter sometimes. I actually called her the other day to talk about a celebrity divorce that I saw on the front cover of a magazine when I was checking out at the PX." _

"_PX?" _

"_Post exchange, it's kind of like a military department store." He explained. _

_She nodded, but didn't say anything silently musing just how strange it was to be sitting in her room with him after not talking for nearly ten months. She looked at him again and was struck by how much older he looked without his Mohawk. Even his facial expressions seemed older which was strange because she'd never noticed that on anyone else before. _

"_I missed you too Rach."_

"_Who said I missed you?" _

_He shot her a look._

"_Okay so maybe I do." _

"_You cut your hair too. It's different but I liked it." _

_She smiled and reached up to finger locks. It was a recent change that she still wasn't exactly used to. Kurt said it made her look like a take charge sexy bitch. She said she'd buy it when it resulted in her getting more roles. _

"_NOAH! YOU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND GIVE ME A HUG! I BELIEVE I WAS IN LABOR LONG ENOUGH WITH YOU TO DESERVE IT!" Aviva Puckerman hollered up the stairs. _

_He smiled and stood, "Duty calls." _

_Rachel nodded knowingly. Aviva missed Noah more than she ever let on. _

"_I really have missed you Rach. I know I have a lot explaining to do Rach. We'll talk after the party. I promise." He assured her, quickly crossing the room to kiss her cheek before rushing downstairs to see his Mom. _

- N - & - R -

"Holy shit Rachel…" Kurt whispered. Of all the directions he expected this story to go in this hadn't been one of them. He was sure that Rachel had fallen for Puck's sexy charm after too much wine and a desire to enjoy the finer parts of his anatomy. He couldn't help but think that this direction made for a significantly more promising outcome for this clusterfuck of a situation.

Rachel nodded and bit her lip. "Imagine my surprise." 

"I can. That's why I'm so shocked."

"Did I miss something?" Blaine asked as he watched the intense eye contact that two of them were making with one another.

"Only several years of knowing how Noah," Rachel joked before launching into the part of the story that she knew Kurt was dying for her to get to.

- N - & - R -

"_I feel like we just went back in time." Rachel replied as she climbed into Noah's beat up forest green jeep. She looked down and found her favorite brand of lipgloss in the cup holder as well as one of her signature gold stars on the number that corresponded to her favorite radio station on his console. It was like nothing had changed. Even his Dartmouth University decal was still in his driver's side window. "How did you even get this thing over to my house?" _

"_I had the cab drop me off at my house first so I could get it. Luckily I hid a key in the spare tire like five years ago and never thought to take it out. I have a new truck that I drive normally, but you'd be surprised at how much I miss this old Jeep. You know my Mom still get it serviced even though it just sits in the back driveway." _

"_She knew one day you'd come home and need it." _

"_I didn't know if I'd ever be able to come back here," he admitted softly as he drove off the paved road and down a familiar well worn dirt one._

"_I didn't think you would. I remember the look in your eyes as you boarded your flight for boot camp. You just like bound and determined to get the hell away from here, to get away from us." _

"_It wasn't like that Rachel." _

"_Well that's how it felt." _

"_We both know I didn't just come back here because of your Dad's anniversary even though it does usually equal one of the best parties of the year or because I missed driving my jeep." _

"_Then why?" She asked because she needed to hear him say it. The day he left was the first time in her life she'd really believed he'd lied to her. She needed for him to tell her right now that everything he'd told her and all of the promises for the future that they'd made together were not lies. She needed to hear that from him. _

"_Because I love you and even if I'm fucked up and too complicated for words right now I wanted to see you. You were the best thing about me and I've missed that." _

"_You know Noah we could talk about-" she started. _

"_I can talk about a lot of things right now but not that." He said cutting her off. "I just I'm not ready to deal with that shit yet. I don't fucking have it in me." _

- N - & - R -

"Talk about what?" Blaine asked completely confused.

"Blaine sweetie I love you but if you interrupt Rachel one more time I swear I am going to make you go watch a rerun of The Valley and miss the rest of this story." Kurt warned sharply before smiling and saying. "Go ahead Rach."

- N - & - R -

_She started to say that she understood, but stopped when she recognized where they were. He'd driven them to a wooded area where you could make out the Charles River without having to deal with the hustle and bustle of Boston. It was their spot. It was the place they had their first real steamy makeout session. It was where he'd finally convinced her that losing their virginity to each other was not one of his dumber ideas. It was basically the physical home for their entire everything. She looked at him and admitted, "I'm dating someone." _

"_I know." _

"_Which means that nothing can happen here," she declared even though to hear own ears her declaration sounded weak. _

_He nodded, licking his lips in that way that he knew for fact always drove her crazy. _

"_Seriously Noah," she said even though she could feel her defenses failing as he started to lightly draw a circle on the exposed part of her thigh. She knew that she should have changed out of her cocktail dress before leaving with him. _

"_You're telling me that you haven't missed the fireworks that always come with us being together? Your boyfriend doesn't have to know Rach. It'll be like a walk down memory lane." He whispered as he leaned to softly kiss her. _

_She knew that the kiss was just a way to distract her into saying yes. She'd been Noah's girlfriend long enough to know all of his best tricks and manipulations. Still knowing and being able to fight it were two very different things so when he slowly started to unzip her dress all she could do was moan something along the lines of, "I've missed how rough your hands are." _

"_Your boyfriend a nerdy desk jockey or some shit?" He joked softly before lowering his head to nibble that soft spot just above her pulse point that always made her melt into a pool of disorganized thought. _

"_His hand calloused. It's just not the same," she managed as she reached down his back to pull off his shirt. It didn't help that until Finn Puck had been the only guy she'd ever been with that way. While Finn was a more than adequate lover it just wasn't the same. The passion and heat weren't there. He didn't make her toes curl the way she was used to. Even though she knew it was wrong and juvenile of her to do this with Puck in his beat up old jeep like they were still in high school she couldn't convince her body that this was a bad idea. _

- N - & - R -

"I don't even know how you two managed in that jeep. It isn't that big." Kurt noted giggling softly as the amount of wine he'd consumed in a short period of time started to catch up to him.

She smiled softly and shrugged her shoulders. "We've had a lot of practice over the years."

"I still can't believe you fooled me into thinking you were this innocent ingénue when we first met. Now I know the truth that you're a vixen after Elizabeth Taylor's own heart." He teased before sobering to ask the question that had been on the tip of his tongue the entire time he listened to her. "How could you keep this from me?"

"It wasn't easy, but I just felt so…dumb. Here was this guy who hadn't called or written me in a year after we dated for nearly six and all it takes is a declaration of love and an above average kiss to get me in the backseat of his jeep like we're sixteen again."

"You aren't dumb. You just love him. And well all know that love makes us all make terrible decisions."

She flashed him a grateful smile as she squeezed his hand. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Consider me informed. Now on to the juicy part where you two are wrapped up in each other's arms and he does that whole vulnerable Noah Puckerman this is why I'm loveable thing."

- N - & - R -

"_Oh wow," she said trying to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She forgot just how exhilarating being with Noah was. _

_He chuckled softly as he peppered her shoulder with gentle kisses. "I'm going to guess your boyfriend isn't earning that kind of reactions is he?" _

"_Could we not bring him up right now?" _

"_Whatever you say princess…"_

"_Don't call me that. We can pretend that this is normal and just a walk down memory lane, but you can't call me that." She whispered into the darkness. She closed her eyes when she felt him tense behind her. _

"_Rach…" he said his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the right words to convey just how fucking much he hated the situation he'd put them in and how bad he felt about it. _

"_I get it Noah. We don't have to go down this road. This is supposed to be fun and it's getting way too serious." She said as she sat up and started the search for her bra. _

_He gently grabbed her arm to stop her so that she would look at him. "No that's not what I'm saying." _

"_Before we launch into this whole dialogue about missing and loving each other just answer me this, are you leaving tomorrow morning?" _

_He didn't say anything. Instead he just reached out for her again. _

"_I think we should head back. I think that this little walk we decided to take has been a little longer than is advisable." She replied as she grabbed his shirt and slipped it over her head before climbing back to the front seat. _

- N - & - R -

"Please tell me you were at least nice to him before you climbed out of the jeep," Kurt implored. His shock was evident in his voice and the look on his face.

"I kissed his cheek and said that it had been fun before telling him to fly safe."

"She broke his heart before he could break hers," Blaine managed still trying to wrap his mind around the story that Rachel had just shared. He definitely hadn't been expecting something so epic.

"I wasn't going to go back to that place. You remember what I was like when he first left. I was a mess. I could barely pull it together for auditions."

Kurt frowned because he did remember that Rachel. Compared to the normal wallowing period for other girls hers was actually fairly short especially when considering just how long and serious her relationship with Puck had been. Still he distinctly remembered the way she struggled to get out of bed in the morning and couldn't be bothered to eat. They'd just moved to the city that she'd been dreaming about since before he'd even met her and yet she seemed content to let it pass her by. Then one morning she emerged from her room completely dressed for an audition and it seemed she was done. Within a month she had started to date Finn who in the beginning he wrote off as being a complete rebound. Still for all intents and purposes the Rachel Berry he knew and fell in love with when they were freshmen at Yale had returned to him.

"I don't even know what I'm going to say to him. It's not like I can say hey Noah it's me, Rachel, your ex-girlfriend who stole your shirt after we had sex in the back of your jeep in August. I'm pregnant and I hate to tell you but you're the father."

"You stole his shirt?"

"Not the point Kurt."

"Okay sorry I just got a little distracted because that was just a very confident vixen move of you. Did you walk through the front door of your house just wearing his shirt?"

"The backdoor but once again that's not the point," she answered flashing him a look that said please get back on track because I need you right now.

"Right you just call him and you say that this is unexpected and you're sorry for dropping such a bombshell on him, but you knew he'd want to know. He loves you so much Rachel it'll faze him but he'll take the news in stride."

She exhaled loudly and looked at Kurt unconvinced and when he gently placed her cell phone in her lap she flat out groaned. "Tonight," she whined. "Why don't I just call him tomorrow afternoon?"

"Just get out of the way Rachel," he urged as gently as possible.

She bit her lip and nodded before dialing his number at least the last time she checked it was his phone number. She held her breath as she listened to each ring. It wasn't until she got thankfully got his voicemail did she actually exhale. She panicked as she waited for the beep before stammering in an unnaturally timid voice, "Um Noah it's me. I need to talk to you. It's important. Call when you get this please." It was only after she hung up did she realize that her hands were shaking for the second time today in a way they never had before.

"You did good sweetie and he's going to call you as soon as he gets that voicemail. I know it." Kurt assured her as he once again wrapped her up in a tight hug. He prayed that he was right.

"He sent me those tulips on opening night." She murmured into his shirt. All of the feelings she'd been suppressing for the last two months were suddenly crashing down around her. She should have known never to underestimate the power of a walk down memory lane with Noah Puckerman.

"I know." The moment they showed up on the doorstep with a card that simply said _you're going to wow people tonight_ without a signature he'd known that it was the self-proclaimed badass's way of congratulating her. After all everyone who really knew Rachel knew that tulips were her favorite. She always claimed they had a lot in common. At first glance they weren't as beautiful as roses, but when you really took the time to inspect them it was hard to deny they had a special kind of charm. That night when they went out to celebrate he tried not to notice the way her smile fell just a little when Finn kissed her cheek and handed her a bouquet of roses.

- N - & - R -

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS CHAPTER WAS KIND OF DIFFERENT FOR ME. I'M THINKING ABOUT WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER FROM PUCK'S PERSEPCTIVE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? I'M INTERESTED TO HEAR WHAT YA'LL THINK ABOUT THIS LAST CHAPTER. I'M DEFINITELY PLANNING ON WRITING A DIFFERENT KIND OF BACKSTORY FOR THE TWO OF THEM. I WONDER WHAT YA'LL'S GUESS IS FOR THE REASON THAT HE SEEMED TO UP AND LEAVE SO ABRUPTLY. I REALLY AM LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR REVIEWS. WHILE STORY ALERTS ARE GREAT I REALLY LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YA'LL THINK. ANYWAY I'VE STARTED ON CHAPTER THREE SO REVIEWS GETS SNEAK PREVIEWS. THANKS SO MUCH! - KRISTINE.**


	3. Don't Be Engaged

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER. IT IS KIND OF EPIC AND LONG. I ALSO WROTE IT FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE. THAT ISN'T EASY FOR ME. ANYWAY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. THANKS FOR TUNING BACK IN. - KRISTINE. **

**RATING: PG-13 (LOT OF F-WORDS)**

**DISLCAIMER: UH, NO. **

**CHAPTER THREE: DON'T BE ENGAGED**

- N - & - R -

He was shit-faced. Not drunk, wasted, or plastered. No he was I'm lucky if I wake up in my bed tomorrow instead of hugging a toilet shit-faced. He knew this because he couldn't stop laughing even when the person he was talking to wasn't exactly funny like the trampy blond who kept running her hand up and down his thigh suggestively. Plus Sam kept looking at him with this concerned look that reminded him so much of Rachel if he were sober it would have probably fucking killed him. Because he was shit-faced he instead just shot Sam a look that said stop acting like you're my fucking mother before announcing, "I think we should more shots!" like it was the best idea he'd ever fucking had.

"Dude I think you've had enough," Sam replied, his voice dripping with enough concern to match his pained expression.

"I think I fucking know when I've had enough thanks Mom," he spat because if there was one thing he truly hated it was someone acting like he was a child that needed to be taken care of. "Now what kind should we get this time?"

Sam stared at him for what seemed like a solid minute, but was probably one a second or two before replying, "Jack."

"Jack it is." He agreed as he motioned to the bartender even though they both knew that Jack is the last thing he needed right then. "Evans here is from Tennessee which means he was basically raised drinking this shit," he said with a wicked grin before downing his shot, not even cringing as the amber liquid burned his throat.

Sam rolled his eyes because he was used to these assertions from Puck, his wife Mercedes said that wasn't necessarily a good thing, but it was true. They'd been paired together in flight school just about three months ago, which meant that his foul mouth and crude decrees had all become acceptable parts of the package. "It's better for you than that Sam Adams shit you keep trying to convince me is the best beer on the market."

"You did not just fucking talk shit about only the best beer that there is," Puck feigned dismay. This is an argument they've been having for some time. "Next you're going to tell me Peyton is a better quarterback than Tom."

"Because he is," Sam replied, chuckling softly at the blonde that is sitting on Puck's lap's alarmed expression. Apparently she doesn't know how to take a joke. She keeps looking back and forth between the two of them like at any moment one of them is going to throw a punch. Later he'd tell Puck that he really needed to adopt better fucking taste in more than just beer and quarterbacks.

"You're full of shit Sammy," he said because he knows that this nickname gets under Sam's skin like little else can or does. He started to tick off the reasons that Peyton wasn't fit to hold Tom's jockstrap when his phone starts to buzz in his pocket. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw that it was Rachel calling. Rachel, who he hadn't spoken to since her Dad's anniversary party in August. Rachel, who stole his fucking shirt and basically told him to go fuck himself when all he wanted to do was make things better. Rachel, who haunted his dreams and always had that same fucking doe-eyed I can't believe you fucking convinced me to have sex with you in the back of your jeep when you're leaving in the morning look every time he got close enough to look at her in his dreams. He sighed and without even realizing it murmured, "Rachel fucking Berry."

"Who's Rachel?" The blonde mewled in what she probably thought was a sexy rasp, but sounded more like she smoked a pack of Cowboy Killers a day.

Sam's brows rose in surprise because Rachel calling was a twist. "I didn't know you two were talking."

"We aren't," Puck replied suddenly feeling too sober for his liking.

"Well good," the blonde said as though anyone was listening to her. In an attempt to regain his attention she allowed her hand to drift so far up his thigh that she was basically holding his package through his jeans.

Puck watched as the notification that Rachel had left him a voicemail popped up on his phone. He should have answered. He knew he should have. The problem was that even though he was suddenly feeling sober he didn't feel confident enough to hold a conversation with her. Plus Rachel was the type who could come up with an idea, run with it, and make it true all before you could even figure out what she was trying to say. Sober Puck had a hard enough time keeping up with her so he definitely wasn't going to give her the chance to fuck with shit-faced Puck. Somehow he just knew that would hurt their already strained relationship even more.

"Baby I was thinking I'm ready to go," she whispered in his ear doing everything she could to make him look at her with his deliciously sinful bedroom eyes again.

"Good because Mercedes is on her way to pick us up," Puck lied no longer inebriated enough to make the mistake of going home with this blonde whose name he couldn't remember.

She bit her lip and pouted a little, "I was thinking that you'd join me."

"No can do. We have class in the morning."

"But you told me that you guys were here celebrating graduating from flight school when we were playing pool." She reminded him, batting her eyelashes trying to remind him just how hot she was. Of all the flyboys that she'd hit on in her time coming to this bar, he was definitely the cutest. She wasn't willing to lose him without putting up a good fight.

"We have one more class. We have to let them know which helicopter we want to fly now that we've tested out of the basic one." Sam told her because he could see that the glazed look in Puck's eyes was returning even though he kept blinking as if to fight it off. "Puck why don't you get her number and you can call her this weekend." He suggested as he discretely shot Mercedes a text asking for her to come and get them.

"Yeah baby why don't we do that," he said even though he had no intention of calling her later unless it was for a booty call.

She hesitated before smiling, "Well okay but you're going to call right?"

He gave her a grin that said of course I'm going to call, but he made a point not to say anything. He had already done enough lying. Instead he simply held his arm out and motioned for her to write on it with the pen she'd pulled out of her purse. He faked an even bigger smile when he saw what she'd written, _645-3439 guarantee if you call I'll make it worth it - Annie. _Inside he was cringing.

"Mercedes is out front," Sam announced even though he knew for fact that it would take at least another 15 minutes for her to get here. Still he knew that if they sat here with this need blonde any longer that she was going to demand Puck put it in writing that he'd call her.

"It was nice meeting you Annie," Puck told her, flashing a quick smile and pecking her cheek before rushing out of there on Sam's heels. As he was pulling his jacket on and they were opening the door to leave her heard her implore him to call her again. For one second he almost felt bad because she was a cute girl, but then he remembered the voicemail that Rachel had left him and knew without a doubt that he'd never made a better decision. "How far away is Mercedes really?" He asked once they were huddled on the side of the bar.

"Like fifteen minutes away which means standing in this cold ass weather too long for my liking." Sam replied as he shivered. It almost made him want to go back inside the bar and bum a cigarette off of someone. He glanced over at Puck who was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and a light jacket. "Dude I don't understand how you're not freezing your ass off."

"Dude I don't understand how you can actually think it's cold out. If I wore as heavy of a coat as you're wearing back home in this kind of weather people would call me a pussy," Puck said with a shrug as he relished the feel of cold air in his lungs. He'd always loved the winter and even though this was barely fall weather by Beacon Hill standards he still preferred it to the scorching heat he dealt with in August. "I have a friend who goes to Patriots games shirtless in January."

"That doesn't prove anything except a whacked sense of self-preservation."

Puck laughed and shrugged. Sam was the only person he'd met during his stint in the military who took the time to learn about Puck. He actually seemed interested I why Puck joined the military and where he was from. When they were first paired together as co-pilots he'd been uncomfortable with all of Sam's questions. After a while though he actually started to open up. At this point Sam was the only real friend that he'd be saying he made during the first two of his six-year commitment with the U.S. Army. Well Sam and his wife Mercedes who was sassy and opinionated in a way that reminded him too much of his mother.

"What do you think she wanted?" Sam asked in reference to the phone call that by the look on Puck's face had not only surprised him, but also dazed him.

"I don't know but she left a voicemail."

"Listen to it."

"I'm not ready to."

Sam frowned. He didn't exactly understand Puck's relationship with Rachel. Apparently they'd been together for something like six years before Puck decided to join the military and effectively left her and the life he'd grown up with in the dust. When Puck had flown up in August and surprised her in an attempt to mend fences, he'd suggested that Puck take it slow. What they really needed to do, Sam had said, was talk about how they got to where they were in the first place. Even if Puck hadn't said as much Sam knew that he desperately missed her. Of course Puck hadn't done that. "Maybe she wants to talk about how you two got to where you are."

"Or maybe she wants to tell me that she's marrying her boyfriend and she wanted me to hear it from her instead of my sister or mother."

"You don't really believe that do you?"

Puck bit his lip and stared down at the ground before shrugging, "I guess not."

"Dud I'm saying this because you're my bro and shit. Stop being a fucking pussy and listen to the voicemail."

Puck looked at Sam in surprise. Normally Sam was the kind of person who just let you make your own decisions and then let you live with the consequences whatever they might be. This was definitely out of character for him. He swallowed; his throat was suddenly dry, before nodding and call his voicemail before he could second guess his decision. _Um hi Noah it's me. I need to talk to you. It's important. Call when you get this please. _He frowned at the obvious nervous and hesitation in her voice. Both were things that Rachel rarely was.

"What'd she say?"

"That she needed to talk me about something important and for me to call when I got it." He stared at the screen of his phone and toyed with the idea of calling her back.

"Maybe you should wait until your sober."

"I'm drunk anymore."

"You're not shit-faced, but you're definitely not sober. I doubt she'll want to talk to you right now when we both know that the moment you walk into your apartment you're going to fall face first on your bed and pass out." Sam advised. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw Mercedes pull into the parking lot. He hurried off in the direction of where she had parked. He frowned and glanced over his shoulder when he noticed that Puck was still glued to the same spot, "Dude let's go."

He nodded, glancing at his phone one more time before shoving it in his pocket and hopping into the backseat of the car. Still even as he sat there and listened to Mercedes and Sam talk and laugh all he could think was that she'd sounded defeated. He'd known Rachel his entire life and he couldn't remember one other time she'd sounded that way. He wasn't sure if he could wait until he was sober to call her.

"Drink a cup of coffee or some shit before you call her at least," Sam suggested as they pulled in front of Puck's apartment building. He knew that there was no chance that Puck was going to go to sleep before returning that phone call. The look in his eyes said that out of curiousity alone it would keep him up all night.

Puck smiled and nodded. He was struck again by just how well Sam had come to understand him. "Will do. Thanks for the ride Mercedes." He waved as he backed away before rushing upstairs so that he could splash water on his face and try to wake up a little more before returning this call.

- N - & - R -

There is a moment when you are making a phone call where you have to make a decision as to whether or not you want to leave a voicemail. That was the question he was fighting with as he listened to her phone ring. As the fifth ring came and went he decided that maybe he should hang up and call her again in the morning. Sam was probably right about him not being in good enough shape to make this call. He had literally pulled the phone away from his ear and was about to hang up when he heard her groggily murmur _Noah? _He took a deep breath and steeled himself for whatever news she was about to lay on him before managing, "Hey Rach."

"It's late," she said. He could imagine her sitting up in her bed and glancing at the clock to see just how late it in fact was. It was then that he glanced at his own clock and saw that it was 2:15 his time which meant 3:15 in New York City.

"I know I just you said it was important and to call as soon as I got the voicemail and well I just got it." He explained. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so nervous talking to her. Then again despite the fact that he seemed calm and cool when he showed up to surprise her in August the entire time his heart had been pounding in his chest.

"Did you just get in?"

He paused not sure how best to answer this question before finally deciding that honesty was the best way to go just in case, "Uh yeah I was out celebrating with my co-pilot. We graduated flight school today."

"Wow," she breathed and it was obvious that she was being sincere. His heart practically did a back flip. Her belief in him had always been so unwavering that it practically unnerved him.

"Yeah and so I know it's late, but like I said you sounded like whatever it was couldn't wait until the morning so I thought I should go ahead and call."

"Um yeah no you're right. Thanks for calling back." And if he didn't know better she sounded even more nervous now that she was awake.

"So what's up?" He asked trying to sound casual even though his heart had started to pound in his chest. He knew that whatever she had to say had to be of the bombshell variety. Rachel was only nervous when she was delivering news that she wasn't sure the person on the receiving end could handle it. His mind flashed back to his fear that she was engaged. It had taken more self-restraint than he knew he even had to keep from asking his sister all about the guy that Rachel was seeing in New York City.

Rachel paused and let out a noisy deep breath into the phone that he wasn't sure if it was more of a sigh or an attempt to build up courage. Finally she said, "I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to go ahead and say it."

"Please tell me you aren't marrying that guy Rachel," he pleaded before he even recognized that the words on the tip of his tongue.

"What?" She asked obviously surprised by his interruption.

"I said please don't tell me that you're marrying that boyfriend you mentioned back in August," he whispered feeling embarrassed for making such a demand when they both knew he had no right to. After all he'd been the one to choose this new life without even taking the time to run it by her first. In fact he hadn't even mentioned that he was going to see a recruiter until after the paperwork was signed and he was officially signed up for a six-year commitment.

"Um no," she replied. "Far from it in fact."

"You two broke up?" He asked not bothering to hide the surprise. 

"Well no."

"Then-" he started but was quickly cut off.

"Please just let me get this out Noah." She begged softly.

"Sorry," he murmured. "Go ahead."

"I'm pregnant Noah." She blurted quickly adding, "And you're the father."

"The time in the jeep?" He asked even though he wasn't sure why. If he was the father then that would have been the only possible time for the conception to happen.

"Um yeah. I had switched birth control and hadn't been thinking. I'm sorry about all of this Noah. I don't expect anything from you. I just thought you deserved to know." She rushed in typical Rachel Berry fashion.

"Rachel I drank a lot tonight so I'm going to need you to slow down just a little," he replied as he sat down at on the worn couch he'd bought at a yard sale a few weeks ago when it became apparent that he needed to stop living in this apartment like it was a hotel.

"Okay I'm sorry," she apologized again. "I just you have to know I don't expect anything from you Noah. I know that you're on this sort of journey to self discovery right now. I understand that me and a baby don't exactly fit into your plans."

He frowned when he realized that she had started to cry. "Stop. Don't cry Rachel. It's okay. I'm just happy you aren't engaged."

"Seriously I tell you I'm pregnant with your kid even though we haven't talked since August and you just are happy I'm not marrying Finn."

"Yeah," he said smiling weakly as he said it. For a while they just sat on the line in silence trying to process what exactly this news meant. Finally Puck exhaled deeply before telling her, "I'm going to come up there."

"What?"

"I said I'm going to come up there. This isn't something we can handle over the phone."

"Well I can come to you," she suggested. "My schedule is easier to rearrange and I don't have anything until next Wednesday."

"I'm going to come you. I have a three-day weekend anyway. I'll get on the first flight I can. Are you still in that place on 59th?" He asked somehow feeling even more sober. In fact he had a hard time believing that he had been shit-faced doing shots with Sam as recently as an hour ago.

"Um yeah," she said and it was obvious that she was feeling a little overwhelmed.

"We're going to figure this out Rachel. I promise. You aren't handling this on your own." He assured her before quietly adding, "You know I love you, right?"

"I do now," she said her voice filled with tears.

He closed his eyes as a wave of guilt washed over him. How could he let her ever doubt how much he cared for her? He let out a ragged breath and smiled weakly as he glanced around his apartment to decide if he had to do a load of laundry or if he had enough clean clothes. "I'll see you tomorrow Rachel."

It was only after they'd hung up the phone and he had purchased a seat on a 6:30 flight to New York City did it really hit him that he was going to be a father. Suddenly he didn't feel so sober anymore. All he felt was tired.

- N - & - R -

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: THOUGHTS? HAHA. I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER. IT WAS A BEAST TO WRITE. I WROTE THIS COMPLETELY OTHER VERSION OF IT AND DECIDED THAT IT WAS ALL WRONG. THIS WASN'T EASY FOR ME TO WRITE. YOU LEARNED A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT PUCK IN THIS CHAPTER. YOU'LL OF COURSE LEARN MORE AS IT PROGRESSES. ACTUALLY NEXT CHAPTER YOU'LL KIND OF LEARN A LOT MORE I THINK. I REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS. I'VE BEEN A LITTLE SURPRISED BY THE LACK OF COMMENTARY ON THIS STORY. I FEEL LIKE YA'LL ARE USUALLY SO OPINIONATED. EITHER YOU REALLY TRUST ME OR YOU'VE DECIDED THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME A LITTLE LEEWAY BEFORE TELLING ME YOUR IDEAS. HAHA. ANYWAY I LOOK FORWARD TO THE REVIEWS. SORRY ABOUT A LACK OF PREVIEWS FOR THIS. I JUST FINISHED IT AND THOUGHT YOU WOULD RATHER I POST IT. I'LL TRY TO DO A BETTER JOB WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER. HOPEFULLY I DON'T HAVE TO REWRITE THAT ONE TOO. HAHA. - KRISTINE. **


	4. 555 West 59th Street

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: A LOT HAPPENS IN THIS CHAPTER. I HOPE YA'LL ARE READY FOR IT. THE ITALICS ARE A MEMORY. THANKS FOR TUNING BACK IN. - KRISTINE. **

**RATING: PG-13 **

**DISCLAIMER: UH, NO. **

**CHAPTER FOUR: 555 WEST 59****th**** STREET**

- N - & - R -

He took a deep breath as he climbed into the backseat of a cab and instructed the driver to take him to 555 West 59th Street. He had never appreciated New York City the way that Rachel had. He'd always thought it was overrated and that Boston offered just as much by way of culture and interesting sights. But Rachel had always had her heart set on living here and being a Broadway star so when it came time during his senior year at Dartmouth to apply to law schools he put Columbia at the top of his list. By 22 he was confident enough in his relationship to include her needs as his own. The last time he'd been here had been to search for apartments with Rachel and Kurt. It had been under significantly brighter and happier circumstances.

- N - & - R -

"_Boaz told Daddy that this place on 59th is the perfect option for us," Rachel replied as they sat in standstill traffic. Despite the traffic she couldn't help but feel excited. Her dreams were finally going to come true. After years of talking about moving to the city they were actually going to do it. _

"_The fact that you're Dad has a friend named Boaz is so…awesome." Kurt said for lack of a better word as he craned his neck to look up at the ominous buildings that surrounded them. Before Rachel he'd always thought that moving to New York City was an out of reach dream. It had already been difficult for him to believe that he'd actually not only gotten into Yale but had gotten the financial aid to attend._

_Rachel smiled, used to Kurt's love of the eccentricities at their lives in Beacon Hill. A childhood in Reading, Pennsylvania reading Vogue hadn't prepared him for being best friends with an old-moneyed Jewish girl whose father was one of the most successful attorneys in New England. It had helped him make her fashionable though. "Noah's parents are friends with him too and Boaz is actually a fairly common Hebrew name."_

"_If your parents are okay with WASPs making fun of you," Noah pointed out as he sighed in frustration at the traffic. "You're lucky I love you enough to consider living in this." He said motioning to all of the cars that surrounded them. _

_She chuckled softly and rolled her eyes. "Boston's traffic is just like this." _

"_Yeah but in Boston I'd at least have WEEI to listen to. I can't handle New York sports talk. If I have to hear one more time about how fucking awesome Jeter and Rivera are I'll crash this car on purpose." He replied only half-kidding. He hated that he loved her so much that he was willing to live in the heart of enemy territory all in the name of supporting her dream. Occasionally his frat brothers called him suckers for it, but mostly they just made gagging sounds to cover up that they were just jealous. _

"_If you did that then you wouldn't get to see me in that new red number you sent me," she murmured seductively before leaning across the center console and pulling his face toward her own to give him a gentle kiss. _

"_You're not the only two people in the car." Kurt reminded them in a singsong voice. He was used to their over-the-top personal displays of affection. Early on it made him uncomfortable, but now it just made him smile and roll his eyes. _

_Rachel grinned and turned around in her seat to smile at him. "You saw the red number he sent to celebrate opening day didn't you?" _

_During the first week of their freshman year Rachel checked her mailbox and was surprised to find a package from Noah. She'd blushed furiously when she made the mistake of opening it in front of her roommate and found a navy blue negligee with a note that said: "Here's something blue to help you celebrate your first week at Yale. I can't wait to see you in it. XOXO - N" Since then it had become a tradition for him to send her lingerie for various special occasions. _

"_Of course I saw it. You paraded around in it like we were about to do a photoshoot. You've got good taste Puck." _

_He smirked and shrugged before saying, "Thanks bro. Opening day always deserves to be celebrated." _

"_That's it!" Rachel exclaimed when she laid eyes on the 35 story glass building that she had looked up the moment that her father told her about Boaz' real estate suggestion. They were less than a half block away and she couldn't help but think it looked even more amazing in person. _

"_Holy shit," Kurt replied staring up at it in awe. It was the kind of place you would have seen on Gossip Girl. It even had a doorman wearing a slate grey and maroon suit with tassels on the collar. "I am so lucky to have found a rich, sweet, beautiful Jewish princess like you to be best friends with."_

"_What about me? What am I chopped liver?" Noah joked as he parked in one of the only empty spaces. He chuckled softly when he saw the doorman's face. Apparently his jeep didn't fit in with the Upper West side protocol. _

_Once they were standing outside Kurt squeezed one of Puck's arms and shot him one of his flirtatious trademark grins, "Believe me the only meat I'd ever used to describe you and these guns is filet Puck."_

"_I love you babe, but hands off my man." Rachel told Kurt jokingly as she grabbed Noah's left hand relishing the way his calloused hands always felt against her own soft ones. In the quiet moments after love-making she'd always holds their hands up and talk about all the reasons that she felt they were the perfect reflection of their relationship. They couldn't be more different, but when you put them together they fit perfectly. _

- N - & - R -

"Are you from the city or just visiting?"

Noah exhaled and shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. He wasn't sure how he remembered that day so vividly. He could even still see her in that impossibly short navy skirt and tight red blouse that she knew always drove him crazy. "Just visiting," he said shortly, not in the mood for polite conversation.

"You've been to this place before? They call it Element. It's insane. Your friend must be loaded." The cabbie said, obviously not noticing Puck's disinterest in conversation.

"She's an actress. Her father's bought it for her as a graduation present." He said leaving out the part that his parents had covered the other half thinking they were going to live their together.

"What kind of an actress?"

"Theater mostly," Puck answered though he wasn't sure why he said mostly. Rachel had her heart set on only doing theater. She said that movies and television were great, but they didn't give her the same rush. He knew better than to argue so he'd always said that he thought theater was a good choice.

"Well this is it," the cabbie said as he parked in front of the massive building. Normally when he stopped here it was people wearing outfits that cost more than his mortgage getting out. It definitely wasn't a young man wearing a Dartmouth lacrosse sweatshirt. "Good luck with your lady friend," he told him as he handed him his bag.

"Thanks," Puck replied as he shoved three twenties in his hand. The cab hand long pulled off and he found himself simply staring up at the impossibly tall building. The first time he'd been here it somehow hadn't seemed so large, but now it managed to dwarf him. Finally he took a deep breath and made a silent promise that no matter what he was going to do right by Rachel because she'd always deserved at least that from him before heading inside.

- N - & - R -

"You know you don't have to cook him breakfast right?" Kurt asked as he watched Rachel cook yet another perfect pancake.

"It was a long flight Kurt. I'm sure he's hungry."

He doubted Rachel's claim, but after years of friendship knew better than to question her. Plus they both knew that she was just trying to keep busy in an effort keep from stressing out about her current situation. He started to tell her a story about one of the actresses' in the play that he was costuming as well as playing a minor role when he heard a knock on the door. He glanced at her and did his best not frown when he saw her pale. "It's Puck. You have nothing to worry about. He loves you Rachel. If he didn't he would haven't hopped on the first flight up here to see you."

She closed her eyes as she took deep breath. "Do you mind getting that for me?" She asked needing just another minute to get her emotions in check first.

He smiled and nodded before leaving their kitchen and quickly crossing the room. He gasped softly when he opened the door and saw Puck standing there. Except for the fact that his Mohawk was gone Kurt would have sworn that they were seniors again. Without thinking he reached out and wrapped him up in a tight hug.

"I've missed you too Kurt," he said smiling weakly as he gently patted him on the back. Most people would have expected him to be uncomfortable embracing another man especially one who often made jokes about showing him why Brokeback Mountain was such a compelling tale. After years of growing up with Rachel's fathers though he was so comfortable in his own skin he even was known to flirt with Kurt.

"I'm so glad you could fly up here." Kurt replied as he grabbed his elbow and pulled him into the apartment. "And I'm glad the baby is yours." He added quietly. While he seemed confident when assuring Rachel that Finn would have handled the responsibilities associated with fatherhood effortlessly he'd honestly been less than convinced.

Puck flashed him a small humorless smile. "Where's Rach?"

"She's cooking you breakfast. She said you'd be hungry. I tried to convince her otherwise but…"

"She's Rachel," Puck finished for him. He started to make some off the cuff remark about how Jewish women were an impossibly stubborn breed when suddenly she appeared carrying what he instantly recognized as a plate of pancakes. Her hair which had grown since the last time they saw each was being held out of her face by a headband and she was wearing a dress he knew she'd own for forever. He couldn't help but think she looked beautiful. "Hey…"

"I hope you're hungry," she said motioning to the plate in her hand before setting it on the dining room table that they never used.

As if on cue his stomach growled. "You know travelling always makes me hungry."

She bit her lip to keep it from trembling as she nodded. She couldn't believe that after all of these months he was finally standing in the apartment that was supposed to be theirs. "Could you just come over here," she asked him quietly.

He smiled weakly, dropping his bag beside the couch before rushing over to where she was standing and wrapping her up in a tight hug. "I've missed you so fucking much," he told her as he began to softly run his fingers through her always glossy brown hair.

Kurt stood there awkwardly watching their embrace before deciding that the best thing he could do was give them some privacy. He had a feeling that there was a lot of uncomfortable discussion that needed to take place before they were going to get anywhere near a resolution. Before disappearing in his bedroom he took one last glance at them and smiled a little at the realization that they looked almost the exact same as they did whenever he showed up on Yale's campus for a visit. Their reunions always had a way of warming his heart a little. He'd never seen two people who were worse at handling being separated.

"I'm going to grab you a plate and some syrup. Your mother mailed me some of your grandmother's just a couple of weeks ago," Rachel said, doing her best to look composed as she extracted herself from his grasp and rushed into the kitchen. "Go ahead and have a seat," she called over her shoulder.

- N - & - R -

"Thanks Rach. This is delicious." He replied as he took another hearty bite of his pancakes relishing the flavor of the real maple syrup that his grandmother canned as a hobby. "You can't get syrup like this in Alabama."

"Alabama? I thought you were in Georgia." She could have sworn the last time she walked about Noah with Hannah that she had mentioned he was stationed in Georgia. Then again that had been awhile ago. The conversations about him became infrequent when it became clear that their relationship had seemingly stalled with relatively no notice.

"I was there for about eight months before I was able to get accepted into the flight program. It's in Alabama, Ft. Rucker actually. It's in Southeast Alabama. The prettiest beach I've ever seen is 90 minutes away. The cape might be better for sailing, but Panama City has it beat in every other way." He told her falling back into his rarely seen nervous habit of providing an unusual amount of information whenever he was nervous.

"So you like it there?" It was hard for her to picture him living in the Deep South let alone a city in Alabama she'd never heard of before.

He paused, shrugging as he admitted, "It's not New England, but I can't complain. It's a little lonely and people always comment on the accent I never realized I had, but I don't hate it."

"So you don't regret your decision then?" She asked before she could even consider the fact that the question was sure to catch him off-guard and turn this chat into the meaningful conversation they needed to have.

"That isn't fair Rachel."

"No it isn't, but we both know very little in life ever is." She countered unwilling to back down.

His jaw clenched and he took a deep breath to fight off the anger that he felt was just at bay. "I hate that I didn't talk to you about it first. I hate that we don't talk anymore. I hate a lot of things about this fucking decision, but I like flying. I think I prefer being in the military right now compared to law school. All I know is there are lot of things about this life that makes sense."

She nodded and sat there silently staring at him for a second before finally asking the question that she'd been thinking the moment that there was a good chance she was pregnant with his child. "So how is me being pregnant with your baby going to fit in to this new life?"

"I want us to get married. I'd like it if you would come live with me in Alabama. I still have four years left on my contract, but once it's up I would be willing to move up here so that you could continue to pursue your dreams." He reached across the table to grab her hand. "I want to be this baby's father and to see if we can make things work again."

"We can't just jump into a marriage and act like everything is fine all because I'm pregnant."

"Things aren't fine. You know it. I know it. Fuck Kurt, our families, and almost every Jew in fucking New England knows that. It's the fact that we're willing to acknowledge how fucking not fine everything is that makes me think we can repair this."

"What are people going to say?"

"That they always knew we'd get back together," he said as he gently brushed a tear off her cheek. "And our kid is going to be one good-looking Jew."

She sniffled and chuckled softly, amazed at his ability to make her laugh even when she felt like her world was falling apart. "Are you sure about this? I don't want to get married and move only to find out that you're not committed to this."

"I've already let you down one time which is too many if you ask me. I'm in as long as you are."

She nodded and tried to blink back the new batch of her tears that wanted desperately to fall. It was like after all of these months her Noah had finally returned to her minus a Mohawk, but with just as much love in his heart. "You jump, I jump Jack."

He leaned forward and tentatively placed his hand on her stomach before capturing her lips with his own. Within seconds the sound of a ringing phone interrupted him. "Do you need to get that?"

"No. Kurt will. It's probably just the doorman letting us know that he sent Blaine up." She explained before continuing their kiss. She'd always appreciated the way he managed to perfectly balance ferocity and sweetness.

Kurt wasn't fazed or surprised when he emerged from his bedroom and found them kissing at the dining room table. Apparently it hadn't taken long from them to have the uncomfortable heart to heart like he had predicted. Missing each other immensely probably made for a great facilitator. He cleared his throat before being the bearer of what he viewed as terribly bad news. "Sorry to interrupt but that was Enrique. Apparently Finn is on his way up."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: WELL. WELL. WELL. I WONDER WHERE THIS IS GOING TO GO. I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR THOUGHTS. WE LEARNED SOMETHING NEW ABOUT PUCK IN THIS CHAPTER. APPARENTLY HE COMES FROM THE SAME WEALTHY BACKGROUND AS HER WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION WHY IN THE WORLD HE WOULD WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL TO JOIN THE MILITARY? ANYWAY I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING WHAT YA'LL HAVE TO SAY. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. - KRISTINE. **


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